Helping your child become more self-aware will help her become more successful in life.

At a conference I attended this past week at McGill University, I learned more about the relationship between self-awareness, self-satisfaction and success.

In a nutshell, studies have shown that people who are self-aware – meaning they are in tune with their emotions and they know what they like and dislike – are more likely to be successful in their careers and relationships and to be feel contented and satisfied. The more a person is aware of what makes him feel happy or unhappy, fulfilled or unfulfilled, the more likely he will be to make decisions and choices that are “right” for him. This, in turn, leads to personal success and satisfaction.

Self-awareness is not something we learn overnight, however. It is something we continually develop over our lifetime. To help your child develop self-awareness, expose her to many different activities, cultivate varied interests and hobbies, and help her recognize which of these experiences feel the most enjoyable and authentic to her.

Try to take a more positive and proactive approach to discipline, rather than a punitive one.

More often than not, our first reaction when a child misbehaves or harms another child is to raise our voice and punish the child for her actions. However, evidence shows that using a more proactive and positive approach, rather than a punitive approach, is more effective at promoting good behaviour.

Being proactive and positive means taking the time to explain to children what unacceptable behaviours are, why they are unacceptable, and what the consequences of unacceptable behaviours will be. This can be done both at home and at school and it needs to be reinforced on a regular basis.

At Centennial, teaching our students effective learning behaviours is integral to what we do. Effective learning behaviours enhance not only a child’s personal learning experience, but also create a classroom environment that is more pleasant and more conducive to learning as a whole. We also encourage our students to be more mindful, respectful, and to take responsibility for their actions.

As the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The more we reinforce and reward appropriate behaviour, the less we have to consequence inappropriate behaviour.

Physical and emotional health are important factors in preparing your child for college.

At Centennial Academy, we help our students develop – and master –  effective learning behaviours and we coach them to become autonomous and resilient learners. Our goal is to graduate students who are in control of their studies and who are ready for college. We work very much in partnership with parents, ensuring that routines and structures that support our efforts are maintained at home.

However, once a student graduates from Centennial, he is on his own to maintain his effective learning behaviours at school.

In my capacity as Director General of Centennial College, I have observed that the students who do the best in college are those who maintain a healthy bodies and healthy minds: students who incorporate physical activity and relaxation activities into their lives. As self-regulation expert Stuart Shanker points-out, exercise and relaxation are essential to helping students learn better and manage their stress. These are routines and structures that take root at home, so this is where parents come in.

Here is what you can do to help your child be a more autonomous, resilient and college-ready learner:

• Encourage him to do four hours a week of aerobic activity. This could be jogging, power-walking, dancing, rock-climbing, swimming, kayaking, playing a team or individual sport, horseback riding, skiing, skating, martial arts, or working-out a gym.

• Encourage him to practice a relaxing hobby or pastime every day that does NOT involve a screen (screens excite and stress the brain). This could be reading, painting, practicing an instrument, building models or robots, cooking, gardening, drawing, designing, playing board games, singing, or even meditating.

• Encourage him to mix things up and not stick to the same exercises or pastimes. Variety is the spice of life and it also creates new learning pathways and makes for better balanced individuals!

Helping your child develop her EQ will make her more successful in life.

Rapid advances in technology mean that many careers are being taken over by machines. As human intelligence gets pushed aside by artificial intelligence (AI), developing one’s emotional intelligence (EQ) is becoming more important than ever.

EQ, in a nutshell, measures a person’s ability to monitor, express and communicate with emotion in a way that is beneficial to everyone involved. In the real world, while good grades and fancy degrees might open doors to good jobs, actual success in a job is determined even more strongly by a person’s personality: by qualities such as perseverance, self-control and the ability to get along with both employers and employees. The good news is that EQ can be learned and improved with practice. These are the five primary EQ qualities that we should all learn to master to get ahead:

• Self-awareness: being aware of your emotions and reactions.
• Self-regulation: being able to control your emotions and take responsibility for your actions.
• Motivation: being committed to self-improvement and resilient in the face of setbacks.
• Empathy: being able to recognise how others feel and how you affect them.
• Social skills: being able to communicate respectfully and effectively.

Cultivating your child’s EQ will help her stand-out from the pack and will increase her chances of success in personal and professional relationships. You can start by helping her to more effectively navigate everyday challenges with friends and teachers.

To find out more about how important EQ is in the age of AI, you may want to read:

• Harvard Business Review
• Forbes
• Canadian Immigrant

Try some simple mindfulness exercises, even when on holidays.

The beauty of mindfulness is that it can be practiced any time, anywhere and by anyone. If you find yourself feeling a bit stressed over the long weekend, or of you are on the verge of getting angry or anxious about something, even the simplest mindfulness meditation can immediately help lower your stress levels, induce relaxation, and help you re-focus.

Here is a one-minute relaxation breathing exercise that reduces stress by lowering your heart rate and blood pressure. It’s easy and effective for the whole family!

• Close your eyes and take a deep breath in, for a count of four seconds.
• As you inhale, visualize the movement of oxygen through your body.
• Exhale, for a count of eight seconds.
• As you exhale, imagine any stress you’re experiencing just floating away.
• Repeat five times.

Help your child develop resilience over the holidays

Resilience is all about adapting and responding positively to stress and adversity – in other words, about bouncing back after experiencing something difficult. Wouldn’t it feel great to be able to shrug off a setback, learn a lesson from it, and then move on to something else? Well, the good news is that resilience is not just something you’re born with: it’s a skill that everyone can develop. And, it does wonders for one’s physical and emotional health!

Here are a few things that your child can do over the holidays to build resilience and feel ready to take on new challenges when school starts again.

• BE ACTIVE: Get off the sofa and get moving! Physical activity is great for the body and the brain.

• TRY NEW THINGS: Expand your horizons and try something new, whether it’s a dance, singing, painting or snowboarding class, or even a visit to a music festival or museum exhibition. There is always lots going on in Montreal, so click on a few of the links below to see what might pique your interest.

• BE SOCIAL: Share some laughs or tears with a few friends, in person – not over the internet! It’s amazing how therapeutic it can be to hang around with friends.

• BE GRATEFUL: Take some time every day to think about what you’re thankful for: all things, big or small, that made you feel good about yourself or good about the world around you.

• DON’T SET THE BAR TOO HIGH: Don’t let other people’s idealized, sugar-coated social media feeds make you think that you or your life are inadequate in any way. Learn to be content with who you are and with what you’ve got.  You’ll feel much happier!

If you are looking for something fun and new to do in Montreal during the March Break, try one of these links to get you started:

Tourisme Montréal – Things to do

Quoi faire à Montréal

Montreal Blog : 40 Things You Gotta Do This March 2018 In Montreal

DEVELOPING A GROWTH MINDSET

“If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a life-long way to build and repair their own confidence”

Carol S. Dweck, Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential

For more information on the “Growth Mindset,” watch Stanford Professor Carol Dweck’s Ted Talk:

www.ted.com/talks/carol_dweck_the_power_of_believing_that_you_can_improve

Talk to your child about how to use the internet responsibly

The internet is a powerful and necessary tool in today’s society, both for school and work. It puts a wealth of useful information at our fingertips, is a seemingly limitless source of entertainment, and has taken communication to a whole new level. However useful and fun it may be, the internet also has the potential to be very harmful. That’s why it’s important to talk to your child about how to use the internet safely, legally and ethically. Here are a few pointers, many of which were gleaned at the eye-opening presentation delivered to our Middle School students on February 16 by Dr. Alissa Sklar, who runs risk(within)reason, a consultancy project focused on teens, technology and risky behaviours.

USING THE INTERNET SAFELY

• People have a false sense of security when they use the internet. In fact, it’s relatively easy for an expert to access your information, images or whereabouts when you use the internet.
• Think carefully about what you want to put on the internet (email, social media, websites), whether it be photos or words: once something is on the internet, it can be shared around the world in a matter of minutes, and you can never get it back.
• Never share your address or personal details on a social media site or with a stranger.
• Consider disabling your device’s location settings, so nobody can track your whereabouts.

USING THE INTERNET LEGALLY

• It is illegal, and therefore punishable, to post remarks or images on the internet that promote hatred toward any section of the public distinguished by colour, race, religion, ethnic origin or sexual orientation.
• It is illegal, and therefore punishable, for a minor to have in his/her possession (i.e., on a computer, tablet or phone), or to share, any sexually-provocative or nude photos of another minor, without that other minor’s express consent.

USING THE INTERNET ETHICALLY

• While bullying or harassing someone may not be illegal, it certainly qualifies as unethical. Unfortunately, the anonymity provided by the internet often brings out our meanest tendencies.
• Something disrespectful or distasteful you post may come back to haunt you someday: people have been fired, denied jobs, and refused admission into universities because of stupid things they had posted on the internet as teenagers.
• Parents should also be aware that many teens watch online pornography, the vast majority of which promotes unhealthy – and sometimes violent – views of sexuality. Read Margaret Wente’s recent article in the Globe and Mail for more insights into this issue. Sex education should come from the home, and parents may wish to consider looking into how to set controls on their children’s devices, so they cannot access harmful websites.

In a nutshell:  we should all take a few seconds to think carefully before we post – or watch – something on the internet.

Introduce your child to the benefits of mindfulness

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

(Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., Internationally renowned scientist, writer, and meditation teacher)

Being an adolescent can be very stressful. Pressure from school, peers, and social media, coupled with trying to forge one’s own identity, can make some teens feel anxious and off-balance. With report cards right around the corner, your child may be feeling especially nervous.

Stress is a natural fact of life, but knowing how to manage our stress levels does not always come naturally! There are many ways in which a teenager can let out some stress, including exercise, music, and talking things over with a parent or friend. Mindfulness is another powerful tool that teens can use to manage their stress. Research indicates that when teens consistently practice mindfulness, it lowers rates of anxiety and depression, and leads to better sleep, stronger relationships, and increased self-awareness.

As the website Mindfulness for Teens aptly describes it: “Mindfulness is all about living fully in the present moment, without judgment, and with an attitude of kindness and curiosity. It’s about breathing, noticing what’s happening right here and now, sending a gentle smile to whatever you’re experiencing (whether it’s easy or difficult), and then letting it go. You can be mindful anytime, anywhere, no matter what you’re doing.”

Here are some helpful websites that can help you discover what mindfulness is and how you can introduce it to your child: Mindfulness for Teens, Left Brain Buddha, Anxiety BC. Also, your child may want to try one of these mindfulness apps: Breathr, Stop, Breathe, and Think, Calm.com.