To help your child become an autonomous and resilient learner:

Create a healthy sleep cycle for her by controlling her exposure to screens.

In his article The Science of Sleep,  published in the August 2018 issue of National Geographic magazine, Michael Finkel talks about the amazing journey our mind takes while we sleep, and how critical sleep is to both our brains and our body.

Sleep is crucial for childhood development, learning and health. Poor sleep in kids has been linked to diabetes, obesity, and learning disabilities. While we sleep, our brain organizes the information it has absorbed during the day and consolidates new memories, both of which are critical to learning and retention. What’s more, our ability to self-regulate is also dependent on sleep: when we undersleep, we are more irritable, moody, and irrational. It is also during sleep that most growth hormones and infection-fighting proteins are released.

Unfortunately, in speaking with sleep scientists from around the world, Finkel discovered that many of us are chronically sleep-deprived due to an imbalance between our modern, technology-driven lifestyle and our innate, sun-dependent, sleep-wake cycle. Exposure to the intense blue light created by electricity – especially screens that are held close to the eyes – disrupts our internal body clock. The bluer and brighter the light, and the closer it is to the eyes, the more it will disrupt and delay sleep. For example, studies have shown that looking at a tablet can delay sleep by up to 96 minutes, while looking at a smartphone can delay it by up to 67 minutes.

Adolescents need 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night. So, if you want to set your child up for a good night’s sleep, be sure to turn off tablets, game consoles and smartphones at least one hour before bed time.

To help your child become an autonomous and resilient learner:

Foster his ability to exercise self-control.

The teenage brain is incredibly plastic and ripe for learning. As Dr. Laurence Steinberg explains in his book Age of Opportunity, this makes adolescence both a vulnerable time (because the brain can be damaged by harmful experiences) and a time of extraordinary opportunity.

The part of the brain that is most actively changing and adapting during adolescence is the pre-frontal cortex. This part of the brain is responsible for executive functioning: things like differentiating between conflicting concepts, planning and organizing, and exercising self-control.

Throughout his book, Steinberg stresses the importance self-control to adolescent success and wellbeing. A person who can exercise self-control is better able to persevere and delay gratification and is less likely to take unnecessary risks or succumb to stress.

To help your child develop self-control, stick to the basic principles of authoritative parenting:

• Show your child affection and respect; this will make him feel safe and self-confident.
• Establish predictable and healthy routines for him; this will help him develop good habits.
• Set challenges for your child; this will expose him to appropriate levels of risk and reward.
• Give your child responsibilities; this will help him develop autonomy and self-sufficiency.

To help your child become an autonomous and resilient learner:

Foster self-sufficiency and self-confidence by offering encouragement and support.

In his book Age of Opportunity,  adolescent psychology expert Dr. Laurence Steinberg provides many practical strategies for raising children in an a positive, authoritative manner. This parenting style has been shown to help teens develop critical socio-emotional skills that set them up for personal and professional success.

Steinberg explains how being an encouraging and supportive parent will boost your child’s self-sufficiency and self-confidence – and set her up to succeed. Here are a few key techniques you can use to demonstrate encouragement and support:

• Set responsibilities and expectations that help your child demonstrate her maturity; this builds self-confidence.
• Praise your children’s accomplishments, focusing on the effort and not the outcome; this builds a growth mindset.
• Don’t be intrusive: your child can’t develop a sense of self-sufficiency if you micromanage her.
• Help your child think through decisions rather than making them for her.
• Protect your child but let her go beyond her (and your!) comfort zone occasionally; children need to learn from their mistakes.
• Relinquish control gradually, as your child gets better at managing her own life.

To help your child become an autonomous and resilient learner:

Parent with firmness.

In his book Age of Opportunity,  adolescent psychology expert Dr. Laurence Steinberg explains how to parent more intelligently and effectively in order to raise healthier, happier and more successful teens.

His findings have shown that young people who are raised in “authoritative” homes, in which parents are warm and supportive yet firm, are more psychosocially mature, responsible, self-assured, creative, intellectually-curious, socially-skilled, and academically-successful.

Parenting with firmness means establishing clear limits, rules and expectations for your children and applying them consistently and fairly. Here are a few guidelines for being a firm parent:

• Be clear: explain your rules, expectations and consequences clearly.
• Be consistent: apply your rules consistently.
• Be flexible: modify your rules and expectations as a your child matures.
• Be predictable: establish routines for your child for recurring daily tasks.
• Apply consequences effectively: stay calm; point-out your child’s behaviour and explain how it impacts you; discuss more appropriate ways in your child could have acted; state the consequences; and explain how you expect your child to behave the next time.

To help your child become an autonomous and resilient learner:

Give her a daily dose of affection and understanding.

This month, I will be focusing on lessons I have learned from the book, Age of Opportunity, by Dr. Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D. Steinberg is one of the world’s leading experts on adolescent psychology.

In the book, Steinberg explains how adolescence has evolved and how we need to adapt, as parents and educators, so we raise happier, more confident, more driven and more successful teens. As he points-out, the adolescent brain is particularly malleable, so it is critical that we intervene and invest in our teens to guide their development.

Steinberg suggests that parents adopt an “authoritative” style of parenting, which combines equal parts warmth (e.g., affection and understanding), firmness (e.g., clear expectations and fair consequences), and support (e.g., encouragement and praise).

As a starting point for expressing warmth, consider making it part of your daily routine to ask your child about the good things and bad things that happened during the course of her day, to listen attentively to her responses, and to validate her emotions. And remember: everyone needs a hug now and then – even a surly teen!

To help your child become an autonomous and resilient learner:

Help him develop a more positive attitude about himself and the world around him.

Research across many scientific fields has linked positivity to improved health, higher rates of success and increased happiness. It can also lead to a higher degree of openness to new experiences as well as a good attitude toward critical feedback.

In their book Micro-Resilience, Bonnie St. John and Allen P. Haines explain how we can actually increase the number of positive emotions we feel each day by purposefully choosing thoughts and creating habits that support positivity. Below are some of the practical tips they provide for “reframing our attitude” from negative to positive, so that we can respond more effectively to what life throws our way.

• When you experience an unpleasant situation: Instead of assuming the worst and reacting impulsively, take the time to de-escalate your emotions and to challenge your beliefs about the motivations behind the situation. This will allow you to react much more rationally.
• When you confront an obstacle: Instead of believing that you can’t overcome it, see what happens if you start believing the very opposite. This will help you think more optimistically about the problem and increase your chances of succeeding.
• When you are feeling pessimistic about yourself or your chances of success: Develop a growth mindset, by reframing problems as challenges and failures as learning opportunities.

Give these techniques a try. You are your child’s – and your own – best coach!

To help your child become an autonomous and resilient learner:

Encourage her maximise her brain’s performance by keeping her body in balance.

In their book Micro-Resilience, Bonnie St. John and Allen P. Haines explain how making some “minor shifts” in one’s life can lead to major improvements in one’s focus, drive and energy. One of these ”minor shifts” is to keep our body in balance by optimising our hydration and glucose levels.

Many studies have shown that our brain’s capacity for complex thinking and social interactions is highly-dependent on our body’s state of hydration. The brain actually dehydrates before the rest of the body, so it is important to drink water regularly, especially when you need to focus and concentrate, or when you feel stressed.

What’s more, our brain requires enormous amounts of energy to carry-out complex executive functions and to exercise emotional control and self-regulation. The best way to ensure that your brain gets a steady supply of energy is to eat a steady supply of low-sugar, minimally-processed foods, and to avoid both under and over-eating.

In short, to help your child learn and regulate her emotions better, encourage her to reach for her water bottle and a healthy snack!